you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
