She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
