): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
