you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
