What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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