I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
smell my finger.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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