are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
