I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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