you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
