i was born a porn star she said
my sisters under your porch take her home
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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