i was born a porn star she said
my sisters under your porch take her home
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize