Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
