we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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