The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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