Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
