she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
