Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
