yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
