I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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