Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
