i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
