I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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