i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
