my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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