you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
