is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
