I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
