he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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