My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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