When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize