do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
