I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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