yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
