I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
