JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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