What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
