You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
