Midget sex pt 2 tonight
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize