Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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