You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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