Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
