So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
