a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
