She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
