i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
