i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
