What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
