She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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