A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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