omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
