Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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