in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
