Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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