Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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