she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
