Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
