I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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