Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
