So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
