she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize