bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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