That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
