Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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